From: blue1133@aol.com (Blue1133)
Subject: ASSC:  Re: AFTSD Re: The Night After
Date: 2 Dec 1997 14:29:06 GMT



WARNING:  This post contains graphic detail.  Not suitable for BLTs, Alan Alda

fans or other PLs who prefer socializing to contact.



Blueballs--> The Inverted Reverse Cowgirl (IRC) is, of course, one of the four

great splooge positions.



CeeTee--> Ok, you lost me. An inverted reverse cowgirl? What the f' is that?

[snip a detailed description of the IRC]



Goldengreek-->First, you mention in one of your stories the four best positions

for getting a dance. The inverse cowgirl is described … please fill us

neophytes in on the remaining three in similar detail. Second, one of your

postings mentions your money management method, but I can't seem to find where

it's described.  Please elaborate.



Blueballs-->  The other great splooge positions are the Reverse Facesit

w/Manual Stabilization Assist, the Pakistani Piledriver (PP), and the

ever-popular Mr. Microphone.  



The first one is also known as "The Ol' 51" (three-quarters of a 69, more or

less) and is self-explanatory.  You'll only find this position in clubs that

have curtained couches and really liberal rules.  The PP is, of course, an

intercourse position that you see in old Ron Jeremy flicks.  What you get in

strip clubs is really a Pseudo Pakistani Piledriver or PPP.  I got my first one

in Taipei while on R&R in 1968, but I hear they are still to be found in

Tijuana.  Mr. Microphone is so well known it has its own ASSC code number (003)

and comes in both mock (simulated) and non-mock variations.  Let me use the

example of the one I got last weekend.  Suzi assumes the Altar Girl position

(so-called because she is kneeling between your knees in a position to worship

Saint Woody).  Now, there are three degrees to the Altar Girl.  In the first,

she massages her tits into your, uh… Silver Shaft.  In a second degree Altar

Girl, she will use her hands to various levels of vigor.  In the third degree,

she also uses her teeth, lips or tongue.  Depending on what you are wearing or

the position of your zipper, you can attain rather amazing (and messy) results.

 A third degree, bareback Altar Girl is also known as Mr. Microphone. 

Unfortunately, my latest experience was of the mock variety as there was one

too many layers of clothing between me and Rapture.



I modified my money management techniques from those found within the ASSC web

pages.  If you haven't read these, they are not only very entertaining, but

have a lot of very good advice for the strip club patron.  While you are there,

click on the link for the Bob "My Hero" Smyth pages.  Anyway, back on topic, I

base my money technique on two principles: first, the clubs I frequent in the

St Louis Metro East Centreville area all specialize in high-contact stage

dancing, lap dancing (or private dances as they are called here) is of

secondary interest.  Hence, a major cache of one-dollar bills is essential. 

Secondly, when I do get a private dance, I never want to ask for change from a

dancer.  If, for example, you have just negotiated three dances for $50, and at

the end of the set all you have is three twenties, you look like a cheap fuck

for asking for $10 back.  On the other hand, if you have just gotten two good

dances for $40 and you want to give a $10 tip for services rendered, you don't

want to be in the situation of giving her either $20 or nothing.  In general, I

will save up a tip roll of two tens, three fives and at least 35 ones.  Now, it

takes me about two weeks to accumulate these exact denominations.  I hide the

pile of bills from my wife in a special place and watch it grow with building

anticipation.  I know it's a silly game, but when the roll is complete I can go

SCing again.  Before I go to the club I'll put the roll in my left back pocket

and get $200 from the ATM that goes into my wallet in my right back pocket.  I

think it's important to keep twenties and only twenties in the wallet, and the

smaller bills separate.  That way I only touch my wallet after deliberate

thought (not in the heat of battle), and nobody knows how much I really have. 

It is never a good idea to whip out a wallet full of cash, credit cards, ATM

cards and pictures of the wife and kids in front of drunken patrons,

questionable bouncers and squirrelly dancers.  If I don't have a free pass,

I'll give the cashier a twenty at the door and get 15 ones in change, for a

total of 50 singles.  I'll pay for the first drink with another twenty and get

another 15 singles change and add that to the roll.  Before I sit down for the

first I transfer a five and about ten singles to my left shirt pocket.  Now,

the routine at these clubs is that you only tip a stage dancer after she has

given you some personal attention (which usually consists of 30 to 60 seconds

of gyno show (including thighs wrapped around your ears) followed by a boob

facial).  A ho-hum performance get a dollar tip, a close approach by a cooze or

some good nip action gets two dollars; full kitty contact earns three.  I'll

give a $5 tip for either extended action, multiple contact, or if some piece of

my anatomy ends up a lot wetter than it was at the beginning (e.g. clit hood

draped over my nose, etc.).  Between dancers I'll replenish the roll in my

shirt pocket from the larger one in my back pocket.  If I decide to get a

private dance, I'll find a discrete moment to put the correct combinations of

twenties and tens in my right shirt pocket.  This means you have to know in

advance how much the dancer charges, and decide how many dances you want and

what to tip.  It is always smart to figure all these things out before you go

into the back room with her and not wait until your judgement is fogged and she

has your, er..full attention in her hands.



It is obvious that at times I will have money in all four pockets, but this

technique has several advantages:  1. You avoid silly decisions at vulnerable

times.  2.  You know what you can afford before you agree to it.  3.  You tip

what you want to and avoid looking either cheap or pathetic.  And, 4.  You

don't waste valuable dancer time scrounging around for the right tip.



This last point is one of my pet peeves.  Let me set the scene.  At my club

there are four stages and 12 seats around each stage.  If each dancer spends 30

to 60 seconds with each customer, she can get around to 15 to 18 customers on

each 3-song set.  If all the seats are full and she services you in the first

song, she may or may not be able to get around to you again by the end of the

last song.   Now, the girls know all this of course and will try to time it so

that their regulars or best tippers will each get visited twice.  Also, by this

second visit the girls are totally nude and at their nastiest.  Since I am one

of the better tippers, I always get serviced early and am one of the few that

routinely gets a second shot.  However, on several occasions, during the third

song some asshole will deliberately delay the girl.  He'll joke and giggle,

make a big production out of getting out his wallet, fumble around with a

dollar, not quite letting loose of it, and tease her about whether he's going

to give her a second dollar or not.  After wasting about two minutes, and the

rest of the song, he finally lets her go and I don't get a second turn.  Now if

he was going to give her 10 or 20 bucks I'd say fine, that's more than I'm

going to give her and he deserves anything he can get.  But to waste all that

time for a buck or two is really selfish.  Not only does he screw me out of a

turn, but also she could have gotten to three or four more customers and made

ten more dollars for herself.  This dickhead then sits there with a grin on his

face satisfied that he has gotten more attention per dollar than anybody else

at the stage.  What a doofus.



Blueballs