From: Anonymous Subject: ASSC Book Guy's Toronto Area Strip Club List I posted much of this about a week ago. I can now update and upgrade the information, thanks to the many replies, further contributions, and other suggestions of people from internet-land who, like me, just want to spread the good news around. I'm keeping this stuff on my hard drive and hoping to continually improve it. First, The Ultimate Strip Club List is currently the best web-site for up-to-date strip club discussion and reviews. Addresses, some phone numbers and other info, and very active bulletin boards devoted to each individual club, are all available at TUSCL. A newer web-listing of strip clubs, the Strip Club List, is better organized, but the chat boards are currently (December 2nd, 1998) much less active than TUSCL's. There's also Adult Eyes Toronto, a site I have trouble accessing. Second, in this listing, "extras" means, duh!, prostitution - specifically and only, a dancer stimulating a client by means of direct organ-contact or contact through only a condom, to orgasm in a manner NOT associated with lap-dancing. I.E., strippers who just grope your willy through your pants at the end of the song don't count, tho' it's nice sometimes ;-), and I don't even call that a "hand job" although I've noticed that some people on this board seem to. AND I.E., "extra" does not mean "she dances what the law allows, and then some extra, like letting me touch her during the dance". For me, "extras" mean prostitution, while "extra-hot dancing" means something other than "extras", whether or not the "extra-hot dancing" provides something "extra" to what the law allows. TUSCL lists these clubs under "city", some of which gets tricky (where the Hell is the listing for ...) so I've listed the often-misleading TUSCL city below. The numbers indicate my vaguest sense of "most" to "least", with many ties. As always, your mileage may vary, these are highly subjective opinions, I cannot condone illegal activity (I don't do it myself), I recommend that you always use a condom when engaging in sexual activity, and I would suggest that you call your mother more often too. In all categories, the review is not for the NORM of activity, but for the norm of what can be RELIED UPON to be available. --(1.) Fantasia (Richmond Hill). Lap-dancing is scorching. Many extras available. Many women look excellent. Closed now, re-opens December 7? A smarmy, seething cess-pit of lust and bodily fluid: whee! The stage shows were a waste of time, since anyone who was anyone was in the many multiply-priced private lounges playing with their privates. --(2.) Bunnies (Markham). Lap-dancing is scorching. Many extras available. Few women look excellent. The sister-club to Fantasia, where the ugly sisters go, but some gems float in the swill. However, you pay $$$ for parking, cover, entry, lounge entry, re-entry, entry on the entry, and then entry. The number and quality of women is spotty - some nights it's almost deserted, in no particular pattern. --(3.) Feature's (Etobicoke). Lap-dancing is scorching. Extras have intermittently been reported to be available. Most women look excellent. My favorite setting (waitresses, clientele, atmosphere, decor, lounge, drink prices, DJ, music system, stage dances, etc.) and mostly high-mileage, to boot! All women are of a minimum standard in looks (no skankers allowed!) and all stage-shows, as well, have been worked up to a minimum degree of choreography (no absent-minded gyrating!). --(4.) House of Lancaster 2 (Bloor Street, Toronto). Lap-dancing is scorching. Some extras available. Some women look excellent. High pain-in-the-ass factor, for getting a seat where lap-dancing can take place downstairs, but if you manage it, then the dances are half the price of other Toronto clubs and higher contact than most. Furthermore, some women look (and smell!) absolutely hideous. --(4.) Whiskey-a-Go-Go (Vaughan). Lap-dancing is scorching. Some extras available. Most women look excellent. Always crowded, and much more a "whoop it up" than a "down and dirty" club, but activity in the free lounges balances that characteristic more toward my liking. Gene Simmons of Kiss recently appeared here; and other celebrities (Howard Stern, notably) are known to drop by. It has something to do with the connections that the manager, and his huge motocycle buddies, have with Hollywood. --(5.) Club Pro (Vaughan). Lap-dancing is scorching. Extras have intermittently been reported to be avilable. Many women look excellent. Recent sightings of ex-Fantasia women indicate the volcanoes at Pro may be closer to erupting again, but generally the place keeps things tame except in its one extremely expensive lounge. Clientele is young and ethnic, which means lots of cel-phones and hair-product, and a great deal of yelling at the stage, but little "unsavory" activity makes Pro an ideal "boys' night out" spot. I always appreciate their high-quality stage shows and maximum ratio of perfet female bodies. But some women have chums of their own ethnicity (Hungarian and Romanian, generally) from whom it's rather difficult - and embarrassing - to drag them away. --(5.) House of Lancaster 1 (Queensway, Toronto). Lap-dancing is hot. Extras have intermittently been reported to be available. Most women look excellent. Generally Toronto's second-most-favorite night spot, right after Whiskey. Mud wrestling, jello throwing, nude pageants, t-shirts and posters and features galore, and very hot waitresses. Plus a new lounge of smoked glass booths. --(5.) Mississauaga Tavern / Diamond's (Mississauga). Lap-dancing is hot. Extras have intermittently been reported to be available. Some women look excellent. I can't speak from much experience here. And others: --(6.) Seduction's (Niagara Falls). Lap-dancing is scorching. Extras have intermittently been reported to be available. Many women look excellent. It's a long drive, and not necessarily a "Toronto area" club, but it's one of my favorites and is currently a Mecca for ex-Fantasia women, high mileage, and abundant extra activity. The free "lounge" is a set of Dilbert cubicles in the back: don't "groundhog" if you hear another patron moaning. Get your mileage by driving some mileage! --(6.) Roman's Babies (Welland). Lap-dancing is scorching. Many extras available. Some women look excellent. Southern Ontario's best-kept high-mileage secret, but it's even FARTHER from Toronto than Niagara Falls. If, however, you're already at Seduction's or The Sundowner, then "It's worth the drive to Welland! --(Sqaure-Root-of-Negative-One.) Brass Rail (Toronto). Lap-dancing can be scorching but bouncers can reduce it to lame. Extras have intermittently been reported to be available. Most women look excellent. I include the B'rail here because some of you suggested it, but it isn't somewhere I visit at all. I previously described it as "Worst Club" and "only good for tourists and others who don't know better and can't figure it out", but its history and the comments of others have suggested to me that the most fair placement for the BR should be somewhere higher than what my individual opinion might be --(Kee-Yai!) Fairbanks Hotel (Toronto). Lap-dancing is mild. Extras have intermittently been reported to be available. Most women look Asian - go here for your fetish! I include FH here because it has a unique appeal. The pricing and booking systems, and the club's many benefits and disadvantages, are quite a different kettle of fish from most Toronto-area clubs, so FH can't be judged fairly on the basis of the same criteria. I call the lap-dancing "mild" because contact seldom occurs, although many Asia-philes would explain that their "Yellow Fever" determines that the dances be called hot for entirely other reasons. Recent discussion also indicates that many women, particularly the South-East Asian ones, will date (and marry?) North Americans to improve their passport status --(Five billion six hundred fourteen.) Zanzibar and For Your Eyes Only (Toronto). Lap-dancing is lame. No extras available. Some women look excellent. These clubs are rip-off scams, hence the ranking. They rely on location (as does the Brass Rail), tourism, and sporting events, to fill their seats. Women probably make good coin at these clubs, and plenty of the ladies are probably friendly or will offer high-mileage elsewhere, but the clubs themselves are rip-off joints that I recommend you not only avoid, but boycott, and bad-mouth on TUSCL, too There ya' have it. No flames, please (DFTEM: don't feed the energy monsters!), it's just my own subjective opinions. Anybody got anything to add?