From: me@what.you.lookin.at.willis.com (The_Kid)
Subject: AFTSD ASSCycle

Life often seems to be a set of patterns and parallels that occur where there 
seems to be no correlation. Whether it exist in science where a macro scale 
phenomenon is surprising similar to a phenomenon that happens at a micro 
scale, other facets of life often mirror each other in disturbing similar 
ways. Taken from the University of Buffalo Counseling Center 
(ub-counseling.buffalo.edu). Just things that make you go hmm... 

Impact of Loss: The Grieving Process When a loved one/classmate is dying or 
dies, there is a grieving process. Recovery is a slow and emotionally painful 
one. The grieving process can be less painful if you try to understand that 
loss and grief is a natural part of life. Learn to accept your loss and 
believe in yourself. Believe that you can cope with tragic happenings. Let 
your experience be a psychological growth process that will help you to deal 
with future stressful events.

The grieving process usually consists of the following stages. Note that not 
everyone goes through all these stages.

Denial and Shock: 
At first, it may be difficult for you to accept your own dying or the death of 
a loved one/classmate. As a result you will deny the reality of death. 
However, this denial will gradually diminish as you begins to express and 
share your feelings about death and dying with other students or friends.

Anger: 
During this stage the most common question asked is "why me?". You are angry 
at what you perceive to be the unfairness of death and you may project and 
displace your anger unto others. When given some social support and respect, 
you will eventually become less angry and able to move into the next stage of 
grieving.

Bargaining: 
Many students try to bargain with some sort of diety. They probably try to 
bargain and offer to give up an enjoyable part of their lives in exchange for 
the return of health or the lost person.

Guilt: 
You may find yourself feeling guilty for things you did or didn't do prior to 
the loss. Forgive yourself. Accept your humanness.

Depression: 
You may at first experience a sense of great loss. Mood fluctuations and 
feelings of isolation and withdrawal may follow. It takes time for you, the 
grieving student, to gradually return to your old self and become socially 
involved in what's going on around you.

Please note that encouragement and reassurance to the bereaved student will 
not be helpful in this stage.

Loneliness: 
As you go through changes in your social life because of the loss, you may 
feel lonely and afraid. The more you are able to reach out to others and make 
new friends, the more this feeling lessens.

Acceptance: 
Acceptance does not mean happiness. Instead you accept and deal with the 
reality of the situation.

Hope: 
Eventually you will reach a point where remembering will be less painful and 
you can begin to look ahead to the future and more good times.