My Rationale

   "So why do you come in here anyway?"

   I let her question hang in the air for a bit. My body is immobile,
but my mind zips through the ether as I ponder my response. I'm debating
whether I should tell her the truth or just make something up to keep
the conversation going. The truth would take some telling and would
rapidly turn our dialogue into my monologue. A minute passes.

   "Hello. Sweetie, I asked you a question."

   The dancer, who goes by the name of Aurora, is beginning to get
antsy. One, high-heeled, foot taps against the other. She doesn't like
having to wait for anything from men, they fall all over themselves in
their desire to please her. She's gorgeous, so she's not used to
waiting. I sort of enjoy teasing her, it's probably the only chance I'll
get to do it, so I'm taking full advantage. Another minute goes by. I
decide that the choice should be hers.

   "Do you want to know the truth or do you want something that will
amuse you?" I ask.

   <Pause>

   "Truth is good..." She breathes as she runs a long nailed hand
through a close-cropped, inferno of red hair. The muscles in her
shoulder move, with elegant harmony, as she leans in and rests her chin
on her hand. It takes an effort of herculean will for me to avoid
looking down the front of her emerald minidress. "...but I do like a
laugh. Thrill me."

   "I'm looking for someone... A lady named Ruby."

   "'She a dancer?"

   "Yep"

   "Does she work here?"

   "Yes and no."

   She pouts for a moment, then her acting skills kick in and her face
lights up with a calculating smile.

   "Sweetie, she either works here or she doesn't. And you still haven't
answered my question."

   "'Getting there, give me time."

   She glances around the club. It's as empty as a Ku Klux clan rally in
Watts. She's not losing any money by talking to me, and there's another
dancer using the video poker machine, so she decides to lend me her ear
for a few more moments. Verbally, I meander on.

   "I lived in Sacramento, with my girlfriend, a few years ago. Her name
was Lindsey. You look a lot like her. She had the same short hair, and
slim build..."

   Aurora primps and preens for a moment, taking my offhand comment as a
compliment. I allow her that. She preens well.

   "I was, and still am, deeply in love with her. She was just the
perfect sort of gal. She was smart, but not too smart. I could make her
laugh at anything. And she was sexy, in a completely offhanded way. She
didn't have to try to be seductive, she just was. It was like an erotic
form of Zen for her. We used to go out dancing at clubs. God, she moved
like well-oiled silk, all smooth motion with no rough edges. I had to
break it off though. I had a job opportunity in Los Angeles that was too
good to turn down and she couldn't come along with me."

   "So is Ruby a friend of hers?"

   "In a way. After we broke up, Lindsey started working as an exotic
dancer. Ruby was her stage name."

   "But she still lives out west?"

   "Yep. She's moved on. There's pretty much no chance of getting back
with her."

   "Then why are you looking for her here?"

   "I miss her, and I never got to see her perform, even though hundreds
of other men did. I obsess over the one thing I never had from her.
She's not here but I see little pieces of her in other dancers.
Sometimes I lose myself in observation of motion. I'm comforted by that
familiar forms I see in others. I suppose I'm building a mental picture
of what I've lost, or never really had, and wish to regain."

   "Hmmm. That's a pretty highbrow response. Are you sure that's the
only reason?"

   "Well...<suddenly sheepish> when I'm getting a lap dance, I also like
the...uhm...friction."

   "That's more like it!" Aurora grins and bounces merrily in her chair.
She's triumphantly content in her awareness of my lust. She purses her
lips and asks the question I've heard so many, many, times in clubs like
these. A question I will probably hear for years to come. And, in this
case, a purely rhetorical question because she already knows what my
answer will be.

   "Wannadance?"

   I do. Of course I do. She has Ruby's green eyes.