ASSC: AFTSD IV - "True Lives"

This is the true life of SamKool.

When you work for The Doctrine King you enter the world of double lives.
You establish a unique double life with everyone you meet and you MUST
manage to keep all of the characters in your numerous double lives
isolated from one another, and most importantly, all of them must remain
unconnected and oblivious to The Doctrine King. The position I held for
The Doctrine King entitled me to carte blanche. Unlimited access and
resources wherever I went and no bills to pay. Materially speaking,
whatever I wanted, I got. That was my compensation. But there was a
catch: my entire identity belonged to The Doctrine King for as long as I
worked for him. Doctrine King contractors are forbidden to maintain an
individual identity. Knowing I couldn't work for The Doctrine King
forever, my goal was to eventually leave with some sort of identity and
at least one whole truth of life intact.

I had already been working for The Doctrine King under the name ALS for
11 years before I discovered ASSC. It was inevitable that ASSC would be
an addition to my list of double lives since many of the characters that
comprise the world of ASSC, the strippers and the customers, live some
sort of double life themselves. ASSCers knew nothing about my other
lives. They could only speculate about my 'real' life based on what they
saw, which of course, was not my 'real' life at all. Remember, I'm not
allowed to have one. All of the fancy cars, clothes, vacations, wining
and dining w/ heads of state, etc. made for a very seductive front
(especially for strippers, which is no nuclear secret to ASSCers) and
I'll be the first to admit: putting up that sort of front was a lot of
fun and great for the ego. It can really consume you if you're not
careful.

Then I saw her on August 27th, 1995... Edie... Yat-tiu... and the moment
I saw her my heart told me "she's the one" and I knew my life would have
to change. I would need to have an identity. I called The Doctrine King
in February of 1996 and discussed my resignation, knowing full well that
once you leave The Doctrine King you are a nobody AND you leave with
nothing. Period. [It was decided by him that October 31, 1996, would be
my last day.] Then I violated rule #1. I told her the truth. There was
no way I could, in good conscience, subject her to all of my double
lives and I knew it would take a long time to sort out. Was she just
attracted to my apparent jet set lifestyle? My instincts said "No" and
over these past 4½ years I continue to count my lucky stars. From Day
One she has never expected anything from me or asked me for anything,
EVER. Yat-tiu has also had to deal with living 2 double lives due to her
previous occupation: 1) the typical "family not knowing what she does",
and 2) not being able to tell anybody else what I do, and believe me,
people asked her repeatedly. She had to deal with all of the talk,
rumors, and innuendo about why she was with me. "It has to be for his
$$$$$. She's got it made now." It wasn't at all easy for her to work
around strippers and customers who constantly reminded her she's only
with me because I'm loaded. Nobody gave her any credit for just being a
person and having a soul because of the mystique that surrounded me, and
is still surrounding me today. Yat-tiu has known the truth from the very
beginning, which is:

there is no mystique there is no money there is nothing

It has all been smoke and mirrors since October 31, 1996, so I'm posting
this to end all the speculation right now, here on this AFTSD IV, my
36th birthday. The reality is:

I'm just a nobody with nothing to my name except a head full of
distressing knowledge and eyes full of unsettling visions

So the burden has been on me to find an identity, any identity. And I'm
incredibly lucky to have a soul mate helping me every step of the way.
Though I don't know what my true identity is yet, I managed to leave The
Doctrine King with one whole truth of life intact... True love...

...and she's beautiful.