Jacksonville: Next lap capital?

Sorry it's late.  My ISP went down last night about the same time I was
ready to post this.


When I moved to Jacksonville two and a half years ago I though this was
another lap dead city.  The nude clubs were all air and no alcohol and
the bikini bars were really lite on contact.  I did find one exception
with the help of John Cross.  He led me to a bikini bar where we could
get lap dances, but the fear of a vice raid always hung over us.  After
a few months I was convinced that it was another hopeless city.

The problem is Title VI Chapter 150 Adult Entertainment and Services
Code.  The code is quite oppressive.  It prohibits contact, nudity or
simulated nudity where alcohol is sold, simulated sex acts, private
dance rooms, the list goes on forever.  It even goes as far as defining
nudity as showing any part of the breast below the top of the areola.
So if you wanted to enjoy a beer with your dancers you had to watch them
in bikinis that covered the whole breast and most of her butt.  And if
you wanted to watch nude dancers you did it with a Coke and you laid the
dollar on the stage.  Putting a tip in a garter is illegal in the nude
clubs.

Needless to say I wasn't very excited by the strip club scene.  My
visits were occasional at best and then usually only to one of two
clubs.  These clubs were the bikini bar where I could get a lap dance
and one of the nude clubs.  It was while at this nude bar that I
learned, from a dancer, that the city was being a little lax on the
clubs since they were a good source of revenue along with the NFL team.
People would come to see the football and visit the strip clubs while in
town.  So while other cities have been cracking down on strip clubs it
seems that they have flourished here.  Or maybe she was full of shit and
everything I've seen since then was just a coincidence.

I decided to track down every club in town and see what was really going
on.  I started compiling a list.  It started off with about ten clubs
that were listed on TUSCL and it began to grow as I scoured the phone
books, the newspapers and every internet site I could find with strip
club listings.  The next step, of course, was to start visiting these
clubs.  I started finding a little milage in some of the clubs. Mostly
it was some low milage lap dances and occasionally some light contact
during stage dances.  It as least made some of the clubs worth going to.

Eventually I noticed the stage milage going up.  Occasionally I would
get a boob facial or a butt rubbed against me.  And as I explored more
clubs it just got  better.  Soon new clubs were opening and some of the
old clubs were remodeling.  Not only was the milage improving, but so
was the atmosphere.

Then there was a major turning point.  One of the clubs had been trying
to use a loophole in the code to go topless.  It seems the city had
exempted itself and this club was on land leased from the city.  A court
threw the cities case out on a technicality.  We now had a topless club
with alcohol and milage!  The club retaliated with a raid or two.  A
compromise seems to have been made with the dancers putting latex on
their breasts and staying topless otherwise.  At least I haven't heard
of any raids recently.

I continued to explore the clubs in search of milage.  By now I had been
to most of the nice clubs so I found a friend to scrape the bottom with
me.

Last night it finally reached a point where I knew it was a changed
city.  In the second club I watched a topless dancer give a medium-high
milage dance in a dark VIP room.  I walked into the second club with a
latex free topless dancer on stage and alcohol flowing. Within a half
hour I had tits, ass and pussy forcefully rubbed on my face.  More than
once I had to take a step back to keep from being knocked off balance.
I won't write a full review here, but this is what I really want in a
strip club.

So where is Jacksonville now?  I count twenty-nine strip clubs.  I have
been to all but nine.  Another nine I have only been to once or twice.
Five new clubs have opened and six others have been remodeled. Only one
has closed and I'm not sure it didn't just change names.  The clubs
appear to be evenly distributed between the chrome and mirror club,
locals bars and dives.  I have found clubs where the carpet was new.  I
found clubs where the carpet had long since been discarded.  I found
clubs where we were welcomed like family.  I found clubs where we were
eyed suspiciously.  And I have found a lot of clubs that were somewhere
in the middle.

It has reached a point where I'm afraid to write reviews.  I don't want
to tell the police what club I had a dancer grind her crotch on my face
so hard she almost knocked me off my feet.  On the other hand I can't
just say "nice club *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*" when I'm trying to
run a website reviewing the clubs.

Two years ago I was shocked to see any stage contact.  Now I expect a
boob facial or some grinding for a tip.  You still have to keep your
hands to yourself, but maybe that will be the next line crossed.  We
aren't San Francisco or East St Louis yet, but it's a start.  Make your
travel plans now before the rush.

squid
--
"...those red eyes that everyone gets and that grow more and
more deleterious with each passing year until a guy finds himself
calculating the ratios of shots per second and fast-food customers per
square yard..." John O'Brien STRIPPER LESSONS