Strip Club Review

Even though strip clubs go up for sale every once in awhile and the amount of money that is asked for them is usually pretty high, some clubs have gone up for sale with rumored amounts that are stratospheric. For example, Club Paradise is supposedly going for $7 million dollars, Olympic Garden for $12 million, and The Palomino for $15 million. Of course these figures are all heresay and passed along like yesterday’s Enquirer, but hey, usually there is some truth to these things.

Obviously, the clubs would not confirm or deny the prices or even that the clubs were up for sale, but come on? Do they think we were born yesterday? Even if those were just asking prices, some bargaining would still put the price range well above Michael Jordan’s daily salary. Now let’s break things down and see what is actually for sale and whether it’s worth the inheritance your aunt left you. What would you actually be buying?

Well, first of all, the three clubs up for sale are all clubs with alcohol licenses. Why is that important? I’ll tell you. Because the city of Las Vegas is no longer issuing alcohol licenses for adult entertainment clubs. That changes how you look at things pretty quickly doesn’t it? Thus all the new clubs opening nowadays are all nude with no alcohol. Even though nude clubs make their fair share, it’s obvious the majority of the these other clubs profit comes from bar sales. What goes better with a pair of titties than a cold beer?

Secondly, there’s the land. Even though land in Las Vegas is still inexpensive compared to some parts of the US, land by or near the strip is and will continue to be at a premium. Olympic Garden seems to have the upper hand here as they are on the strip. Club Paradise is just a block off the strip, however, rumor has it they don’t own the land. What good is that? Now as far as Palomino is concerned, they are on Las Vegas Blvd, but they’re located past downtown.

Past downtown? And $15 million dollars? Now you’re probably wondering why The Palomino is the most expensive although it’s the farthest club out. Well, simple. It’s the ONLY nude club that also has an alcohol license in Las Vegas. Unique and completely under developed, the place is literally a goldmine for anyone who wants to take the time to market and develop the club.

Now how much do these clubs actually make and what’s the return on investment? Well, let’s just say that a decent nude club without alcohol sales will take in probably over a million dollars a year. Clubs with bar sales will probably at least double that. But $7, $12, or $15 million? When would a club payoff on amounts like that? Well, you have to consider that the clubs that are up for sale are all incredible facilities. They can probably make two or three times the amount any other alcohol club can make across the country. But that would still slate the return on investment to be somewhere after 4 or 5 years.

Still worth it? Look at it this way. Las Vegas has already surpassed the population mark of over a million. It is growing by leaps and bounds. It is also the major convention center and the gambling draws visitors from all over the world. Without any new alcohol licenses issued, the current clubs value continue to rise. A small investment of $7, 12, or 15 million now may seem cheap in 5 or 10 years.

“Come in the back with me and I’ll show you something special” … a common phrase heard in the darkness of some of the clubs. The question is, are these VIP rooms worth your money? Before we answer that question, let’s look at the reasons why people go into VIP rooms. One, there’s more privacy. Two, the customer thinks he can get a nastier dance. Between the two, which one would you put your money on in a bet? I’d throw lock, stock and barrel into the latter. Granted, privacy is a side issue, but what most customers who are willing to spend the type of money for VIP laps are looking for nastiness. Plain and simple. Anyone who claims otherwise is fooling themselves. So now that we’ve agreed on why people like going into VIP rooms, let’s look at the various ones available here in the Las Vegas scene.

For the topless clubs, Olympic Garden, Crazy Horse Too, Club Paradise, and Cheetahs all have VIP rooms. However, they vary greatly. Olympic Garden charges $100 for an open bar tab to enter and then it’s $100 for 3 songs with the lady of your choice. Do the gals get nastier? They sure do. But if I were you, I’d try them out on the main floor first. That’s actually good advice for any of the clubs. Next, you have the Emperor’s Room at Crazy Horse Too. The only cost here is $100 for 3 laps. Look at what you can get in the main room. It only escalates in the VIP. At Club Paradise, there’s the Cristal Room. Buy a bottle of champagne ranging from $80 to $495 to get in, then the dances are the same price as the main floor. Unfortunately, the dances aren’t much different. At Cheetahs, the dances in the VIP room are no different in price than the dances on the couches out on the main floor, and unfortunately, in general, there’s not much difference in nastiness either.

At the nude clubs, Tally-Ho, Lil’ Darlings, and Club Exotica have VIP sections. Tally-Ho charges $170 for a half hour, and in the past, they were the best dances in town. However, with recent Metro sweeps, the $20 laps in the main room are almost as good. Lil’ Darlings has a VIP room in the back, but the dances are probably tamer than the dances up in the front booths or the theme rooms. Cameras are all over the place, so VIP just means more privacy to other customers, not the management. At Club Exotica, the VIP room is in full view of the other customers. Again, I don’t see the point.

In most other cities, it’s the clubs without alcohol which normally get nasty. Fortunately for visitors and even the local folk, it’s the other way around here in Las Vegas. If nasty is what you’re looking for, and you have the money to spend, the VIP rooms may be the way to go. Otherwise, stick to what’s available on the main floor. You’ll probably enjoy yourself just as much anyway.

Whenever visitors come into Las Vegas, they often ask the cabbies, “So, where is the best strip club to visit?” They usually get a pretty quick reply of one or two clubs along with the assurance of “they have the best girls in town!” and voila, they’re quickly transported to the cabbie’s recommended spot.

Great advice! Right? Not necessarily. Most of the cabbies in Las Vegas are paid to bring you to certain clubs. In fact, most clubs pay the cabbies a minimum of $5 per head. This can go as high as $20! This is also what we refer to as the cabbie wars when the clubs start inflating the cabbie payout.

How does all this work? Why do the clubs pay the cabbies money? Well, the answer is obvious: competition. It’s kind of a catch 22 for many of the clubs. If they don’t pay, the cabbies will just direct much of their tourist business elsewhere. Does the club lose money? Sometimes, but more than likely, the cover charge or the first drink or two you buy will cover what the club will payout to the cabbies. In general, if a cabbie has brought you to a club, he’ll be paid whatever you’re going to pay the club as the cover charge.

So the next time a cabbie suggests a club, do you think the cabbie is watching out for you or for him/herself? Don’t get me wrong, some cabbies will give you genuine advice, but it will make you much more aware of what is going on if you knew the rates the clubs were paying the cabbies. Check out the Cabbie Update page for current rates. This way, the next time a cabbie recommends a place, and you know it’s bad, you can make your own decision on whether the cabbie is being helpful or just greedy.

Most of the clubs in Las Vegas or anywhere else for that matter have a minimum drink rule. Fine. As long as it’s understood before a customer pays his cover charge and walks in the door, I don’t see a problem with that. Afterall, the club is a business and they have to make their money. Some examples are the bottomless $10 drink at Deja Vu or Lil Darlings, the two drink tickets for $10 at Olympic Gardens, the $8 drink at Tally-Ho, the two ($12) drinks required at Palomino, et al. However, my current rant revolves around clubs that make you purchase additional drinks after you’ve already bought the supposed minimum.

What am I talking about in particular? Okay, I’ll be blunt. I’m talking about The Palomino. In the past, once a customer had already bought 2 drinks when watching the feature show downstairs, they had to purchase an additional drink to go upstairs to watch the regular strip show. That basically made it a 3 drink minimum. However, whenever you called the club, the policy was always a “2 drink minimum”. I made a note of this in a past review because quite a few readers had started referring to The Palomino as a clip joint. I personally wouldn’t go to that extreme, however, I did think they weren’t following their own policies. After adding that to the review, I received a letter from Palomino management. As you can see, they claim it isn’t club policy.

Let’s make sure. Please email LMR if you go to the Palomino and keep me updated on the drink situation. It’s little things like this that can ruin an otherwise perfectly wonderful club. On the other hand, I’d like to offer kudos to the many clubs which don’t force extra drinks on their customers: Crazy Horse Too, Cheetahs, Centerfold Lounge, and several others which I haven’t mentioned. Let’s hope club management at the different clubs realize that their customers have a choice in Las Vegas, and that if they don’t make changes, there’s always somewhere else to go.

UPDATE: During our last review visit in late June, The Palomino has not been forcing customers to buy additional drinks. After you buy your first two drinks, you will not be forced to buy anymore. Be sure to keep your receipt. Kudos to The Palomino for listening to their customers and making changes when necessary.

Just recently, several dancers from a couple of the Las Vegas clubs brought forth a class action suit against several strip clubs for back pay. They claimed that they were employees rather than contractors and that the stagefees that they paid over the years to these clubs were owed to them. For a minor settlement, these women are willing to change the whole industry for thousands of other women. For the good or bad? I think bad. Let me illustrate and discuss several points.

First off, the strip club industry isn’t exactly accepted by everybody and their mother. It’s seen as immoral to many people and a lot of people would love to shut it down or see regulations in place that would basically make watching exercise infomercials more exciting. By going through with a major class action suit, the only thing these women are doing is drawing attention and bad publicity to an industry with opponents just waiting for more ammunition.

Secondly, let’s talk taxes. Everybody knows that dancers make pretty good money. How much? No one really knows because why? It’s all in cash. By making these women employees, there will have to be tighter records of how much they’re making. Right now as contractors, the clubs have much less accountability. Who do you think is really interested in this area? That’s right, the IRS. Oh, they’ll be watching this case real carefully.

Next, will winning this case and a measly settlement really be worth it if they stand a chance of ruining a whole industry for most other women and their potential of earning hundreds of thousands more? But I guess the women suing don’t really care. Let’s break this down and see who will eventually suffer out of all this. The club? No way, they’ll just find some other way to get the money they lose. The customers? Maybe, but if they suffer, who else do you think will eventually suffer the most?

What this case mostly will break down to is the matter of control. Currently, most of the clubs in Las Vegas give their girls fairly flexible schedules and do in general treat their dancers like contractors. They few that don’t only need to make a few minor adjustments to the way they manage their clubs. Afterall, a contractor is still obligated to perform a specific job. As contractors, the dancers have much more freedom and control and retain their capacity to maximize their earnings potential. You can look at the Independant Contractor Analysis or what is most commonly referred to as the IRS’s 20 Factors to determine if a person is an employee or contractor. I just hope that instead of being shortsighted, these ladies look at the industry as a whole and make the right choice and keep their freedom as independant contractors.

Here is an article from the Las Vegas Sun, another article from the Las Vegas Review Journal, and a followup article.

It’s something that’s fairly common at the nude clubs here in Las Vegas. Not actually legal within the Las Vegas city limits, but everyone seems to do it. Why? People want NUDE entertainment and drink at the same time. You walk into clubs like Deja Vu, Lil Darlings, Exotica, et al, and you’re almost guaranteed to see people walking in with a brown bag under their arms. Unfortunately, I’ve seen, firsthand, several busts by undercover Metro policemen within the last few months. 90% of the time, they just ticket the club and harass the dancers and other employees about Sheriff’s cards, but once in awhile, they do write tickets to belligerent patrons who can’t keep their cool.

Opponents of alcohol and nude clubs will tell you that guys will get out of control, and that alcohol and female genitalia just don’t mix. The Palomino, an all nude club which serves alcohol in North Las Vegas, just outside the city limits, seems to do just fine. I don’t see any more outbreaks of violence or catastrophic events happening just because they serve alcohol with their dancers. Now tell me what the huge difference in patron reactions at topless clubs where dancers wear g-strings thinner than my dental floss and at nude clubs where they flash just a bit more.

Another issue opponent will bring up is, “customers under the age of 21 will bring in alcohol and drink there“, to which I respond, how did they get the alcohol in the first place? Maybe the city should be cracking down on the liquor stores that are selling the minors the alcohol in the first place instead of harassing the clubs. Progressive states in the strip club industry like Hawaii and Florida all have nude clubs WITH alcohol. Why can’t Las Vegas, or for that matter, Nevada?

I think the city needs to either allow nude clubs to carry alcohol permits, allow current topless/alcohol clubs to go nude, or leave the nude clubs alone with a BYOB policy. If they’re really that concerned with underage drinking, create a policy which will make the clubs card the patrons bringing in alcohol, but don’t take my right away to enjoy fully nude women and my favorite alcoholic beverage at the same time.